Harder than it looks

Yeah, so, It's only day 3 and I'm frustrated. I didn't get time to blog yesterday. Actually, I didn't MAKE time to blog yesterday. I need to take lessons from a friend who has mastered this.
Also, I'm trying to stay near a calorie intake of 1200 a day. It's a little extreme according to a web site I'm using, but I need to get a little extreme at this point, before I get to a point where I can't do this.
So, I thought I was doing ok at breakfast...2 cups of coffee...a little sugar (can't stand artificial sweetener in my coffee, I've tried, but it just kills my coffee). And a little creamer, keeping the servings very small. But, when I looked at what the oatmeal was doing...damn!!! Sounds healthy enough, but my portion size was WAY too big, and unless you eat it plain (yuck!) there's trouble. So I altered that...I've moved to a 1/2 C. oatmeal, a teaspoon of brown sugar and a teaspoon of butter. Surprisingly, it tastes good still, with little added, changing from cooking it with milk to cooking it with water didn't alter it at all for me, and the smaller amount still fills me up in the morning.
So I'm patting myself on the back for that...till dinner on Tuesday. Pork roast, potatos and corn. Holy toledo! That damn near killed me too...I went WAY over my calorie intake Tuesday because of that...I cut off any fat from the pork, had a 1/2 cup of potatoes only, without adding any butter or anything to them, but still...sheesh!

So yesterday, I really watched portions at breakfast, overdid a little at lunch...Pastor took me to lunch, and I just couldn't resist the egg salad sandwich I'd heard so much about. It was all it was cracked up to be...but still debating on if it was worth it calorie wise. So, I had a small portion of mastoccioli (sp?) for dinner, lots of green beans, and one small piece of garlic bread and a glass of skim milk. Not too bad...actually better than I thought on the calorie count. Then I blew it at church...I made the girls ice cream sundaes to celebrate their awesome job on their skit Sunday...do you think I could be strong and not eat ice cream with them? Noooo....I went ahead and had some. On the one hand, it was light ice cream, one small scoop, and just a tiny drizzle of fat free chocolate syrup...no whipped cream, no cherry on top no second scoop...but still, NO ICE CREAM would have been the better option.
Looks like I've got a lot of work to do on training the mind again....I had such a grip on all this a year ago...what the heck happened????

Ok..now that I've admitted to my many mess ups over the past couple days, it's time to get my butt out of this chair...there's an eliptical machine staring right at me, as if it's daring me to get on. Time to go get the MP3 player and work out my frustration in a positive way! Wish me luck! My goal is 1 mile...30 minutes. I can do this!